Do I even want to do this anymore?

Three preps. Six class periods. 194 students daily. One 45-min prep period.

That's a lot of work, right?

I read this post by dy/dan and was reminded of when I came to the same conclusion. I won't allow a student to choose to fail. When I made that resolution, I taught one prep and had 85 students daily.

The landscape is different now. My view is different. The entire job is different. It's more about staying afloat, staying fewer than ten steps behind. I have less energy to devote to the kids or being creative.

I typically work crazy hours- about 70 hours per week (yes, and sometimes 80). I use to do that even when I had fewer students because it allowed me to prepare and do more. I worked that much because I wanted to. I enjoyed working. Now, I work that much because I have to. That feels pretty different.

It makes a difference: the amount required of you versus what you give voluntarily. It makes a huge difference.

If you're being squeezed until the last drop, how are you ever the teacher you resolved to be?

(And when I say you, I mean me.)